A nightmare

All the legal legalities of my imagination 

has increased my awareness to figure 
out the truth from lies and in reality everything is a lie...

cofuzzled words of 
habeus corpus and other immaculately designed words 

used to confuse me and My 
mental instability...

I'm desperate to find some truth in all my madness. 

I take a deep breath and search 

through all my emotional hidden white lies to reveal my 
vertical kind if horiZontal axis of liberations. 

I am a black college female...

grad school bound even if I'm miserable woman 

deserted in between two crossroads 

and I'm suppose to find a path all my own...

I'm scared. Sighing as I 
close my eyes I can not afford to be different...

because being different is a luxury and I am only working with necessities... 

I do not have the fare to pass go and collect my 200 dollars. 

Oh no!! 

I have to work twice as hard just to get my $2.25 

well now $2.50 just to take the train ride along. 

Sitting next to my 
privileged counterpart I envy everything that is awarded to her. 

My sexuality is 
a jail cell alone...locked in my own body I am only but this human shell 

trying to be something other than a black college female 

or confined to a sexual label 
i didn't place on myself...

so reality has proved to be one thing...

a dream 
inside of a dream 

inside of a nightmare